Calla's Birthday...

Calla's birthday party was so much fun! I've been planning a princess party for her since before she was born. I tried to keep things fairly simple, but by the time you get all the family invited and just a couple friends, it's a packed house. Here's Calla, in the tutu I made her, holding up the number one...


Mommy with her little princess...


We did presents first, and once again Calla could have cared less about the packages. All she wanted to do was climb on the biggest one...

Here's Calla while we were all singing The Happy Birthday song to her. She stopped... and looked around... and realized everyone was singing to her, and then got a big goofy smile on her face and kept on clapping. Too cute...


This is the only room that got decorated. I wanted things to be as refined and as regal as a one year old party could be, so most things are pink or white, and we used all the fine china for serving pieces...

Here the table is closer. I guess this is before we got the jello cubes (jewels) out of the fridge...

I made a fondant cake for the party. It was supposed to be alot fancier, but I ran out of time and steam. It still turned out cute...

Here is Princess Calla in her throne enjoying her first cupcake...

She had the ugliest faces while eating her cupcake, but she still kept going back for more...

That was all we did! Just presents and cake, but it was a great party and fit my little princess perfectly!

Like most mothers on their baby's first birthday, I am overcome with the need to reflect over the past year...

This is not the journey I anticipated piloting last year. Calla's addition to my life has been an adjustment for all three of us- filled with many hills and valleys, twists and turns, and far too often, reversals. But there is one thing I am convinced of: Calla is a blessing straight from God. For this child, I have prayed. She has stretched the boundaries of my love. My heart and spirit have grown so much as a result of her. God's grace and unconditional love for me has been exampled in my relationship with Calla. I know I consider her more of a challenge than Leslie ever is or was, but the truth is, there are so many countless joys I experience with Calla, that even Leslie, never filled.

Calla will let me hold her until she falls asleep. Watching her sleep, with her cheeks puffed out, sucking her invisible pacifier, completely limp, trusting, and safe in my arms, is the closest thing I could ever imagine to seeing the face of God.

Calla wants me to hold her. Often to a fault. But a secret part of my heart always smiles when wants me so much. Her first word was "up." She chases me around all day and when she finally catches me, she pulls herself to standing, looks up at me, and throws an arm up saying "uh!" I love having my baby genuinely want me. I love that I get to be the hero, that I get to be her provider and comfort. I love that she allows me to be her mother in all capacities. One day, much too soon, she will stop letting me hold her, and she will stop running to me for guidance and safety. So for now, I will treasure all the "uh"s in my life.

Calla wears her emotions on her sleeve. And while this causes her to be loud and yell-y, and a bit of a crybaby at times, it also sets the stage for the most lovable little girl I've ever know. Even as an infant I could tell her "Snuggle snuggle," and she would lay her head on my shoulder for a hug. As she's grown, her hugs are more lingering and intentional. She'll give me kisses. She comes up to me during the day and simply lays her head down on my lap, sometimes to play her favorite game of, "Night-night, Good Morning" other times, she just wants to be close to me. She'll lay down and let me draw/scratch her back for several minutes at a time. I love that she lets me love on her so much.

I look forward to traveling down this road with my two girls and seeing the women they become. The struggles with Calla that are such a challenge right now, are going to be her greatest attributes as she grows. She is going to be a child that loves and lives life to its fullest. She will live in the moment and probably make lots of mistakes, but she will be strong enough to survive them all a better person. She will never sit idly by, watching life pass her by. She will be in the crowd. She will speak her mind. She is going to experience all parts of her life with a greater passion than I could ever imagine.

I know God has amazing plans for her. I pray that God gives me the wisdom to know how to be the best mother to her. I pray that I have the discernment on when and how to discipline, praise, or redirect her actions. I pray that all her love, passion, and energy be placed in Christ and living her life as a blessing back to Him. For this child, I have prayed.